


Now We Are Six

by printfogey



Category: One Piece
Genre: Chibi, De-aging, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-08
Updated: 2012-04-08
Packaged: 2017-11-03 07:32:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/378879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/printfogey/pseuds/printfogey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Strange foodstuff makes the Strawhats revert to the age of six in body, leaving them smaller, weaker and more vulnerable. Two of them regress in mind as well. How do they cope with this?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part I

**Author's Note:**

> AUTHOR'S NOTES: This was originally written to fill a prompt on the old. now defunct anonficmeme op-fanforall on Livejournal. The title was nicked from A.A. Milne’s classic collection of verse written for children.
> 
> The cause and cure of the de-aging was lifted outright from the _Ranma ½_ manga by the brilliant Rumiko Takahashi (namely, the entertaining three-chapter story in volume 31, old edition, Japanese and new edition volume 33). The only thing I added was the effect of mustard on the troublesome mushrooms.
> 
> Spoilers/setting: Post-Thriller Bark, pre-Sabaody.
> 
> DISCLAIMER: These guys belong to Oda. They’re used without permission.  
> Entertainment without profit is this writer’s sole ambition.

When Robin came back to the campsite with a large bag hefted over her shoulder, there seemed to be no change in the situation. The only notable difference was that most of her crewmates were now wearing rather makeshift clothing in order to move in their current unexpected sizes. Otherwise, almost everyone seemed just as confused, unhappy, irritable, panicked, dazed or wound-up as they’d been when she left camp a little while ago. Only Luffy and, possibly, Brook were acting just as usual, even though Brook was the one with the perhaps most unexpected look.

“Hello! Hello, will you listen? LISTEN UP, EVERYBODY!” 

Her little girl’s voice rang out shrilly around the camp-fire, but it drowned in the ruckus. Robin felt frustrated as she bit her lip. There was no help to it; you simply didn’t sound very authoritative and knowledgeable with the voice of a six-year-old.

She took a deep breath, clenched her fists and muttered, ”Boca de fleur”. In the next moment, thirty mouths opened all around her crewmates. The thirty Robin-mouths all opened up at the same time, shouting, ”HEY! BE QUIET AND LISTEN TO ME!”

“Ow! My ears!” cried Usopp. 

“Hey! We could hear you fine,” muttered Zoro and glared at her, sounding rather whiny in his six-year-old voice. That hedgerow haircut didn’t really look very good on a tiny kid, Robin reflected momentarily.

“What’s the matter, Robin-honey?” said little Sanji, running towards her with a big goofy grin on his face. They were the same age now, and yet Robin couldn’t help but find it slightly disturbing seeing a six-year-old boy carry on as if he was nineteen, even around his agemates. She found herself frowning at the diminutive chef, as she wouldn’t have done in her adult body. Hm. Maybe she really did have less self-control as this, despite having been a very quiet child.

“Look, everyone!” she insisted. “We need to go through what exactly has happened and what to do about it. I think I’ve got a few good ideas.”

“Why should I listen to you?” snapped the six-year-old Nami, looking up from trying to tear Franky’s hair out. “I dunno who any of you guys are! I wanna go home!” She glared at Robin, angry tears forming in the corners of her eyes.

“Yeah, me either, man,” said little Franky, looking suspiciously at the others. He stopped kicking Nami on the shin, however. “I got no freakin’ clue who any of you people are and what the hell I’m doing here, anyway.” Robin had to admit the swearwords sounded rather cute when said in that shrill boy voice. “Do you know my ol’ man, or somethin’?” the little shipwright – who was now all de-cyborgised – went on. 

“I’m afraid we don’t. But please be quiet for awhile and I’ll tell you what I _do_ know,” said Robin. She sighed, and took a deep breath. This really shouldn’t be her doing this – it should be Nami, normally. But Nami couldn’t right now, so she had to step in. 

“Oh!” said Chopper, eyes shining. “You know what made this happen?” Chopper was the only one who hadn’t been visibly changed, but he looked very worried and harried as he sat nearly buried in a mountain of medical textbooks. “You’re so smart, Robin! Did you remember it from something in a book? Or from some old legend? I haven’t been able to find a thing in my books, not yet…”

Robin shook her head. “No, I just went and found someone who lives here,” she said. “It’s a farmer who’s used to these woods and spends a lot of his time warning newcomers, but he says he’s often too late. See, it’s all about these mushrooms we had for dinner…”

She explained to them. It took them some time, and she had to use several diagrams and a large pointer and some more judicious use of her devil fruit powers, but at last the gist of it seemed to have sunk in.

“So, it’s the mushrooms fault, huh…” mumbled Sanji, pale and trembling as he lit up a cigarette. But even if his mind wanted one, his young body didn’t seem to like the taste of it at all, and he started to cough violently for a good while. “I – I don’t get how this could happen!” he burst out, looking miserable and not meeting anyone’s gaze. “The shitty old man drilled me really hard on mushrooms! I always check them _really_ well before serving them to anyone, even Luffy, who can eat almost anything! And these ones looked exactly like _hameshi_ mushrooms, and that’s a delicacy! Hell, they even tasted like them!”

“Probably a sub-species,” said Robin. “These Time Mushrooms, as they’re called, only grow on this one island, so it’s no wonder you didn’t know. And the ones we ate all happened to be around six centimetres, hence our current age. Their length represents years.”

“I’ve said over and over again that mushrooms are dangerous things,” muttered Usopp. He looked pointedly at Sanji. “Maybe this will teach you not to sneak them into my food again.”

“But I sneak them into your food all the time,” said Sanji, “and nothing like this has happened before!”

“Whaaat?!”

“Right,” said little Zoro, leaning against a tree and ignoring the squabble that just broke out between chef and sniper. “I think I understand.” He thumbed at Nami and Franky, who had stopped fighting with one another but still were standing looking very confused and extremely suspicious at the others. “So, how come those two have lost their memories as well, but the rest of us haven’t?”

Robin sat down on a log. “I asked about that,” she said, “and the farmer said the Time Mushrooms normally only affect your body. The exception is if you eat them with mustard. Then, for some unknown reason, your mind changes right along with the body, losing your memories if your body grows younger. If you get older than you really are, you can’t see into your future, but maybe you will think more like an older person would.”

“Nami-baby does love her mustard so…” sighed little Sanji, looking regretful as he tried to shake little Usopp’s angry grip on his makeshift shirt off him. Sanji at six seemed to have pretty much the same strength as Usopp as six, but Sanji at six with the mind of Sanji at nineteen evidently still didn't want to use his hands for fighting, or to kick Usopp too hard, so he had some trouble.

“I don’t believe this at all!” snapped the little Nami. “This all sounds like some weird joke you guys are pulling on us. Probably there’s some mean grown-ups around just standing behind the trees laughing at us!” She glared over her shoulder at the surrounding forest, then raised her voice, “HEY! JUST YOU WAIT ‘TIL I TELL BELLE-MERE ON YOU! SHE’LL KICK ALL OF YOUR ASSES, YOU KNOW!!”

Little Franky nodded, crossing his arms and looking wary. “Yeah, I mean if I were, like, twenty-eight years older and had built a really great ship and had turned my body into a machine I think I’d remember it. Y’know?” 

“Yeah, you should remember it, it’s really weird that you don’t,” little Luffy told him seriously. “’Cause you’re a pretty cool guy and we’ve had all sorts of adventures with you already.” He laughed. “Man, those stupid mushrooms sure got us good, though! Even Sanji got fooled! Well, at least I can still stretch.” He leaned back on one elbow to look up at the darkening sky, and stretched his free arm as high as the nearby treetops, then let it snap back.

This made Nami and Franky gape in stunned disbelief and then back further away from the others. 

“And I can still talk and think and switch forms,” said Chopper, changing into Heavy Point and Horn Point and then back into Brain Point as he spoke. 

“You look just the same, Chopper,” little Usopp pointed out as he and Sanji dusted themselves off, looking somewhat dishevelled. “Are you sure you even ate the mushroom?”

Chopper nodded, changing into Heavy Point again and picking up a heavy tree branch that lay on the ground. “I’m not as strong as I should be,” he explained, bending the branch over one knee and breaking it after about five seconds. “See? I should be able to do that much faster. And my reflexes seem slower, too.”

“I can also still use my powers, as you’ve all seen,” said Robin. “And as for Brook…”

Everyone but Nami and Franky turned as one pirate to look at the musician. 

Brook still towered over all of them, but not because he hadn’t eaten the same Time Mushrooms as everyone else. He was as tall as an average ten-year-old, which probably translated to his actual height when he’d been six, if he’d been unusually tall back then as well. But that didn’t mean he’d gained any skin, flesh or living organs – no, he was still all bony. A child skeleton, with an afro. 

Strangely enough Nami and Franky seemed to take a talking and moving skeleton in stride, as they had with Chopper as well. Maybe they were both too young to realise the oddity of this; maybe they recognised talking animals from nursery tales and talking skeletons from ghost stories. But they would probably never have heard stories about rubbermen, so that alarmed them.

“Ah, my,” said little Brook. “Why such surprise in your eyes? I, too, have been given this second shot at childhood! And frankly, I can’t see why you all seem so upset! Why not enjoy our regained innocence, the yet-unsoiled vista of life as it lies stretched out before us?” He bowed and waved his cane grandiosely, then stumbled and toppled over from lack of balance. “Though it is sad to see the beautiful curves of Miss Nami and Miss Robin disappear, I do admit…” he added, sitting on the ground.

“Maybe devil fruit powers are just so strong that no other strange things can override them,” said Chopper tentatively. 

"Maybe," mumbled Usopp. "Still pretty weird, though." The others hummed in assent.

“Feh. We can’t go on like this,” said little Zoro, glaring at the skeleton boy. “We all have dreams we want to pursue. How can we even try to reach them, with our bodies in this weak and pitiful state? It’s not just that we’ll be easy prey for any strong enemy this way! How can we man and sail the ship when we’re less than half our real size?”

“That’s a decent point, and I’m surprised old Mosshead here came to think of this, since he doesn’t really do much on the ship except regale us with his sweet snoring,” said Sanji, his fingers searching for a cigarette which he then put away when his mind caught up with him. Sarcasm didn’t come through that well in a high little boy’s voice, but Zoro still looked aggravated. “Anyway,” Sanji continued, “we can’t really sail with Nami-baby having lost her memory, either.”

Usopp nodded. “Yeah, she’s the one we really can’t do without on the ship. And it’s tough with Franky being that way, too,” he pointed out. “’Cause if anyone does know how to adjust the ship so that a shorter crew can work it, it’s him. I haven’t the faintest idea myself if that can be done. Except perhaps for the Gaon cannon, I think I might be able to manage that…”

“What? You guys have cannons on your ship?” Franky looked up at this, with a new interest in his eyes. “So it’s a battle ship? Does it have a lot of armour and reinforcement and stuff? And weapons for underwater fighting? And does it have catapults, and grappling hooks, and what about…”

Nami wrinkled her nose at him. “You sound reaaal stupid,” she said. “What do you want to get on a ship for, just to fight people or to actually _get_ somewhere? I’d never let you on a ship I’d be navigating! You’d just start stupid battles! Bleah!”

Franky scowled. “Battle ships are cool! They’re super!” he insisted. “You’re just a dumb girl who’s probably never gonna dare come out to sea ever! Just stay at home and be safe with your mommy!”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah!”

They flew at one another again, their temporary truce abandoned. Robin ignored them this time, instead waving the rest of the crew over to gather around the big bag she’d brought with her. Very carefully, she took out the five small baskets filled with earth and placed them on the ground. Tiny little mushrooms were growing out of them, as yet only a few centimetres long. She’d wanted to pick bigger ones but hadn’t been able to find any.

“These are the cure I tried to tell you about before,” she said in an urgent whisper. “They're simply more Time Mushrooms. Once they’re as tall as we want to be old, we eat them. So Luffy and Usopp will wait until we get 17 centimetre-mushrooms, then they’ll eat them and go back to normal. Nami will eat an 18 centimetre one, Sanji and Zoro will wait for 19 centimetres, and so on. Brook, I don’t think you need to wait for your actual age, it should be fine with the same age you were when you died.”

“Do they get to be that tall, then?” asked Sanji, giving Robin a worried look – probably thinking of her 28 years, she thought. “Though of course if some of us would prefer to look a few years younger that wouldn’t be a problem at all!” he added hurriedly. 

Robin smiled at him, feeling happy to convey good news. “They can get to be one metre tall in good conditions,” she said. “They have to be kept somewhere dark and humid, of course.”

“Of course,” said Luffy, nodding sagely several times. “They had mushrooms like that on Little Garden, remember? You could probably use them as chairs…” he added dreamily.

“Well, you’d better not _eat_ them,” said Usopp, glancing at him suspiciously. “Or you’d get to be a hundred years old!”

“Ooh! I could have… I could have a _really_ long beard!” exclaimed Luffy, stars in his eyes. “I’d trap birds with it and everything! And, and I’d get a cool-looking cane, just like Brook!”

“All right, so it’s decided, then?” said Sanji. “We all stay here on this island for a while to wait for the mushrooms to grow and for Nami-baby to get her memory back! And Franky, too,” he added as an afterthought. “They will get it back, won’t they?” He looked at Robin again, his young voice high and thin with anxiety.

“They will,” she said, nodding and giving another small but genuine smile. “Either when their bodies turn back to normal, or when the mustard gets out of their system, which will probably be earlier. That’s what that farmer told me.”

“Yeah!” said Luffy. “And we’ll have fun, too! It’s better to be grown-up and stronger, but being a kid doesn’t have to be that bad, so there’s no need to be down! Maybe we’ll even have some cool adventures on this island!”

“Not too scary, I hope!” said Usopp. “But you’re right about the fun part. Let’s go explore the beach! We can look for neat seashells and also crabs and oysters for dinner!” He and Luffy and Chopper took off already, and there was no normal Nami around to groan and roll her eyes at them. 

As for Robin, she smiled to herself again, feeling both relieved and exhausted. Soon she’d have to get up and try to reassure the navigator and the shipwright as best she could. They’d been silent for too long now, and that wasn’t good. She’d also have to move the mushrooms to a suitable place – no, wait, Sanji was already doing that, and Zoro was moving their things about the campsite to prepare for the night. For now, Robin could just rest here a while, letting her small body gather some strength.

Without meaning to, her thoughts wandered to another forest long ago and far away, a forest that had been burned to a crisp along with the rest of the island. There might be young trees growing there now again, perhaps. She looked at her two child hands, and closed her eyes, remembering the giant who had tried to teach her to laugh.

“Dereshishi…” she whispered softly. “Dereshishi…” Her crewmates, if they happened to look at her, must have thought she behaved oddly, just sitting there and grinning with her eyes closed. But they didn’t say anything. And this time, her grin stayed a grin for much longer. 

She was very glad she had chosen to forgo the mustard.


	2. Part II

It wasn’t easy, trying to calm down little Nami and little Franky (who kept insisting his name was actually Cutty Flam), even with Sanji’s inspired idea of serving them both mugs of steaming hot cocoa. This at least seemed to make them slightly less tense and miserable, though Nami stared with very wide eyes at Sanji’s hopeless inability not to make googly eyes at her.

But their basic unhappiness and confusion and deep suspicions were still clear. “Why do you all keep speaking like grown-ups?” asked Nami, “It sounds so weird!”, and Franky nodded with a dark glower and added shrilly, “Yeah, you sound pretty silly that way! Real grown-ups would just laugh at you!” 

Robin sighed deeply, wondering how to try this again. The truth was too strange to be easily believed and accepted, but it was even harder to think up any plausible reassuring lies. After all, why should you give credence to a strange girl your own age who claims you’re actually twelve or 28 years older than you’re sure you are, and that you’re hundreds of miles away from your home, and that in a few days you’ll get your memory back from eating a magic mushroom and return to ‘normal’? Except it’s not at all a ‘normal’ that seems normal to you now? No, Robin didn’t feel she could blame them. 

Zoro had been quietly leaning against a big tree close by, right next to his swords that were now too big and heavy for him to wear. Now he suddenly spoke up.

“Maybe you’re the ones who are right,” he told the two amnesiacs. “Maybe it’s the rest of us that got our heads messed up, not you. Could be some curse or disease that’s giving us false memories making us think we’re much older than we really are. And you two just happen to be immune to it. Or something like that.”

Robin looked at him carefully, wondering what he was driving at. “That doesn’t explain why we’re all here together instead of back at our childhood homes,” she felt forced to point out, because it was common sense.

Little Zoro shrugged, picking up a fallen tree branch and swinging it experimentally with a frown on his face. “We could have been knocked out and brought here unconscious, maybe,” he said. “I’m sure Usopp could come up with some story. Not a very likely one, maybe, but it’s not like the truth is all that likely either.”

Robin smiled. “That’s true enough.”

Nami was frowning darkly again, looking from Zoro to Robin. “You guys are sounding all weird again,” she muttered. “Keeping secrets and stuff.” 

“Yeah, and I’m not sure I wanna eat some freaky mushroom if it will make me just as kooky as you,” said Franky. The two amnesiacs had moved closer to one another again, again united in mutual animosity towards the Suspicious Weird People around them.

Zoro scratched his head, then picked up another tree branch in his other hand, grunting with the effort. “Anyway, like I said, maybe you two are right and we’re wrong,” he continued. 

“But we’re still all here now, and there aren’t any grown-ups you know around here. So we might as well stick together for now. Maybe your parents are gonna show up tomorrow or something, who knows?” He shrugged. “They’d probably be pretty proud to know you could make it by yourselves with no grown-ups around. Right?” 

Nami and Franky went quiet, and didn’t say anything right away. But there did seem to be a little less of an angry frightened, suspicious wall in their faces. Robin blinked and looked at little Zoro again, rather surprised and impressed. 

Zoro wasn’t looking up, though – he kept going around looking for branches and big twigs of different sizes and weights, trying to lift them up and swing them around. He’d even found a red umbrella somewhere and was trying it out now, still frowning. 

“Er…” said Robin, pretending to sound all confused, “we should go call Luffy and the others in for bed-time, but I forgot where the seashore is…”

“Oh, it’s that way,” said Zoro, pointing straight into the forest. Well, at least with Zoro it didn’t matter if he was playing along with her or not on this. 

“It’s not,” said Franky – Cutty Flam – Franky with a frown, and Nami shook her head repeatedly. 

“No, no, no! I know just where it is!” She stood up. “I’ll show you! Come on!” she yelled at Robin, and started to walk away from there quickly – still looking sullen and annoyed, but at least doing something. Robin got up and hurried after her. 

Nami picked up her steps. Soon, they were both running.

“Hey! I wanna go too!” shouted Franky from behind them. “I wanna see if you can see that ship from there!”

“Nyaah!” shouted Nami over her shoulder. “Can’t keep up with us, slowpoke!”

“No fair!! I’ll show you!” he yelled back. 

Robin ran along with them, still smiling, feeling surprised at how easy her smile threatened to spill over into laughter. Odd how good it felt to be running just for the pleasure of running. She couldn’t remember ever having done that as a child. As an adult, she’d occasionally felt something similar, with the Strawhats… But it was different in a child body – more intense and more exhilarating. And, she realised as she ran, her body didn’t feel quite so _tiny_ anymore. She was getting used to its proportions.

She had intended to slow down before reaching the beach proper, so that none of the other two would start sulking about being last. But then she trod on a half-buried seashell and tripped, falling head first into the sand.

“Hey! You okay?” asked Franky, stopping beside her. “Want some help?” He held down a grubby hand to her – apparently no-one had told him about girls having cooties. Robin grabbed it and heaved herself up. “Thanks,” she said seriously. Franky grinned brightly at her.

“It’s okay, we can say we came in even,” he offered generously. “It doesn’t count if you fall down. Anyway, wasn’t fair in the first place because she cheated.” 

He pointed at Nami, who had run up to where the boys were playing – building sand castles, wading in the shallows and just taking it easy. Robin and Franky followed her there at a more sedate pace. 

“Hey, you!!” yelled Nami, skidding to a halt right in front of Luffy – or rather, right under him, since he was hanging upside down from a low-leaning tree branch, swinging like a hammock. “Yeah, you!” continued Nami, pointing at Luffy. “You’re the leader, right? Aren’t you? It seemed so before!”

“Uh-huh,” said Luffy, who didn’t stop swinging, just angled his head slightly to look at her. “I’m the captain.”

“Huh!” Nami crossed her small arms and drew herself up. “So why are YOU the leader? You’re kinda dumb, aren’t you?”

“Nami!!” exclaimed Chopper, looking shocked. “Luffy’s just the best captain ever!”

Nami wasn’t listening to him. She kept facing Luffy with a challenging look. “You don’t act like you’re grown-up like the other try to! So why are they listening to you, huh?” 

“It’s ‘cause I’m gonna be the Pirate King,” Luffy explained. He started laughing. “It’s not like I lost my memory or anything!”

Nami’s face became an intense angry red. She stamped her foot in the sand and seemed ready to explode. (But she didn’t look afraid anymore, Robin noted – not in the slightest.) Chopper backed away to hide behind the sand castle. 

Robin cleared her throat and decided she had better say something, although she wasn’t sure what. But Usopp was faster – he sidled over from where he’d been standing in the shallows over to the other side of Luffy, giving the furious Nami a wide berth.

“Luffy’s the captain ‘cause he’s made of rubber,” he said brightly. “That way, when he comes up with stupid decisions we can hit him a bit and it won’t hurt him.” He jumped up and smacked Luffy on the head, making it spin around a couple of times. “See?”

Nami blinked a couple of times, eyes wide. Maybe, just maybe, there was a dawning light of something like understanding in her eyes.

Franky laughed. “That looks like fun!” he said. “I wish I was made of rubber too!”

Luffy grinned, then grabbed the ends of his mouth and stretched it out wide, sticking out his tongue at Nami. “Neener neener! If only you could do this then maybe _you_ could be the leader,” he teased her. 

Nami made a face right back at him, sticking out her own tongue out and putting both hands on her nose, then wriggling her fingers energetically. “Nyaah! You’re still stupid! Dum-my!” she riposted. Usopp spluttered incredulously at the sight, then broke out giggling.

“Oh yeah?” Luffy took on a more intent look, pulling down one eyelid – or rather, pulling it up, since he was still upside down – and waving his tongue at a different angle.

“Yeah! And that looks weird upside-down!” said Nami, but she didn’t seem that angry anymore, as she blew Luffy a raspberry and shook her head at him, while her fingers formed horns across her face. Usopp broke out laughing again, which Nami seemed to take as a compliment. Robin didn’t find it all that easy to hold in her own grin. Chopper was still just staring anxiously, while Franky looked admiring.

“You’re good, Nami!” exclaimed Luffy happily, finally swinging around and jumping down off the tree. “All right, how about this one?” He tried another funny face.

“That one’s an oldie!” scorned Nami. “Babies can do that one! How ‘bout this?”

They exchanged a few more faces until they both started to laugh like crazy, falling over into the sand with merriment. Nami threw some pebbles at Luffy and said that well, okay, he could be the captain, but only because he was made out of rubber and wasn’t pretending to be a grown-up. Then she made a small sound of delight at something moving in the sand right next to her. “Hermit crab!” she squealed. “Haha, I found it! It’s mine!”

“Noooo! I want that!” Luffy objected.

Chopper looked relieved again, and turned to look at Robin. “Were you guys coming to help us out down here?” he asked. “Look, we did find some firewood!” He pointed to a small pile of driftwood a fair bit away from there. “We haven’t just been playing!” he asserted.

“No, I think…” Robin opened her mouth, feeling like a killjoy for bringing up the late hour and bedtime, but then she stopped, sniffing in the air. Sanji must have made a lot more hot cocoa, for the lovely scent of it was drifting down from the campsite to the beach. And was that the smell of expertly grilled cheese sandwiches in the air, as well? It certainly seemed so. 

With those smells in the air, it wasn't too hard to get the others to abandon the beach and troop back to camp, with everyone helping to carry pieces of the gathered driftwood and a few other found items. Of course, Chopper could easily have carried all of it by himself in Heavy Point, but that wouldn’t have been as fair. Or as fun.


	3. Part III

At noon the following day Sanji, Usopp and Brook were trampling through the forest going back to camp, all of them still with the bodies of six-year-olds (minus flesh, in Brook’s case), and all of them quite exhausted. 

The night and most of the morning had passed with little excitement, certainly not more than usual. None of the Strawhats knew very much about mushroom farming, but Sanji, Chopper and Robin had put their various scraps of knowledge together as well as they could. And the Time Mushrooms did seem to grow nicely, though at different rates. A couple of them were already 12 and 13 centimetres tall. Robin thought that if they kept growing like that, they would be of the right length for Franky and Brook to eat tomorrow afternoon. And by that time other mushrooms would already be the right length for others in the crew, she pointed out. They should do this with the oldest crew members first, otherwise those would have to wait for a really long time.

Sanji had respectfully objected that while he thought this was very well-reasoned _in general_ , he felt they should make an exception for Nami. He couldn’t bear to see her being so confused and lost, not remembering her crewmates at all - not even him. The biggest mushroom might be 18 centimetres this evening: shouldn’t this be reserved for Nami-baby? He’d been firmly voted down on this matter, however. At least Robin-honey had agreed with him that it was distressing, but she also said that Nami and Franky seemed to be coping fairly well for the moment. And their memory might still return soon, once the mustard left their system. Sanji had been forced to agree and then forced to try knocking some manners into Zoro, who’d muttered a derogatory remark about Nami-baby. 

That had actually left Sanji with quite a few aches and bruises he tried to pretend weren’t there. Loath as he was to admit it, it seemed that six-year-old Zoro had already been unusually strong. Mosshead must have started his training real early: Sanji had been a bit more of a normal kid that age, when it came to fighting at least (cooking was a different matter). Not that a little strength difference would make Sanji back down from a fight or refrain from chastising shitty louts who were insulting ladies. Even when the lady in question was transformed back into a six-year-old girl who just stared and either shrank away or started to laugh at him when he tried to help her.

That had all taken place before breakfast. After they’d eaten, Sanji had announced they were getting low on supplies and had better forage for more. He’d taken Usopp and Brook with him and set off into the forest in search of edible things, with the intention of looking out for more Time Mushrooms at the same time. Luffy was going to explore the seashore again, this time with Zoro – which probably meant those two were also deep into the forest by now. Robin and Chopper stayed behind to guard campsite and mushrooms and Nami-baby. Well, and Franky too, Sanji supposed with a shrug.

And now, here they were, all dirty and sweaty, limping and a little bloody, though only with surface wounds. Usopp looked fairly shaken and Sanji wasn’t sure he himself was looking quite as unconcerned as he’d like. Brook, on the other hand, already seemed to have forgotten his earlier terror and was whistling quite serenely now. Not too many minutes ago, he had been trembling like an aspen right along with them, as they’d been sitting on the thin branches of a far-too-slender birch while a huge, furious boar had rampaged below them, ramming its shoulders into the tree over and over again. 

“It’s _not_ just a question of reach,” Sanji muttered morosely now, responding to an earlier remark of Usopp’s. “You think I don’t know how to adapt to that? And it’s not even that these shitty legs are so goddamn fucking short.” He made a face and kicked at a stone on the uneven path. “I still know a lot of moves I could have used to take that goddamn shit-boar down. Aiming for its vital points, ducking out of its reach, not letting up – sure, I could have done it, even with my balance being all bent out of shape. But there’s no way without any _muscle_! Damnit, why the hell did I have to be such a shitty wimpy kid at this shitty age?”

Usopp sighed loudly and threw a pine-cone at him.  
“You know, Sanji,” he said, “I don’t know what kinda childhood you had, but maybe you shouldn’t be so unhappy you weren’t a lean, mean killing-machine at the age of six. I mean, think about it, for heaven’s sake.”

Sanji couldn’t come up with a good reply to that, so he merely hunched up his shoulders, gnashed his teeth and groused something inarticulate. _Man_ , he wanted a cigarette. Except now they just made him cough, which somehow felt like the most frustrating thing of all. Or maybe the second most frustrating thing. Not being able to drag food back to camp was currently at the very top of the list.

“But I know what you mean,” continued Usopp. “I mean, I can’t use the Kabuto now since my arms are too short like this, but I still have my slingshot. Normally a little thing like that puny boar would have been as nothing to my mighty powers, but… it’s weird. In my mind I know how to shoot it, and yet I kept _missing_.”

“Eh,” grunted Sanji. “You still hit it plenty of times.”

“Well, of course I did! I was a good shot even at this age! Don’t forget I had already defeated vicious hordes of three-eyed werewolves by then! Still…" Usopp now sounded more musing than frustrated, though not free of the latter, “I couldn’t hit it right where I wanted, could I? Except for blinding it on one eye. Mostly it only seemed to make him get more angry.”

“Well, that only makes sense, doesn’t it, Mr. Usopp?” said Brook cheerfully, violin hefted on his shoulder. “Innate talent only takes you so long! It’s practice that makes perfect, after all!”

“Huh. I guess that makes sense,” said Sanji. “Maybe you don’t need that much force to be a good sniper, but I bet you do need quite a bit of training, right? And your arms and hands don’t have that training right now. Not your eyes, either.”

“Weeell, I guess so,” said Usopp slowly, “but… you’d have thought it counted for more, the knowledge in your mind, I mean. Now it’s like you have to re-train yourself all over again. Only it’s useless, because it’s all going to come back anyway once we’re back to normal, right?”

“I sincerely hope so! Yohohoho!” laughed the six-year-old skeleton. “It’s certainly embarrassing when my fingers won’t know how to play a certain tune anymore, even though in my head I know exactly how it should go! To tell you the truth, I stick only to the simpler melodies right now: it’s making me feel quite inadequate, gentlemen!” Not that he looked it, taking little leaps as he talked and drawing the bow across the violin for a few sweeping chords.

“I’m not a gentleman,” objected Usopp, blinking slightly. “Anyway, I hadn’t really noticed, Brook. I mean, it was you who took down the boar back there after all, with that lullaby trick of yours.”

“Yohohoho, you are too kind!” Brook bowed graciously. “But I did strike quite a few false chords too, initially! Luckily it didn’t matter much.”

Sanji grunted something, then kicked at a pine-cone and squashed a beetle. It was true, Brook using his “Lullaby Flan” move on the furious boar – Sanji still didn’t get what its trouble had been, it wasn’t even as if they’d started attacking it yet, although he’d wanted to, of course – was what had finally put it down. Usopp’s array of slingshot Stars would probably have settled the thing otherwise, eventually. But the boar obviously had quite a bit of stamina and it might be that the creaking, swaying birch would have toppled over first, leaving them at the mercy of the beast. As for Sanji, all he had done was holding on for dear life to the tree and stopping Usopp from falling down when he over-extended himself. How pathetic. 

Though admittedly, it was he who had gotten them up into the tree in the first place, drawing the boar’s attention away from the other two to give them time to scramble up before jumping up himself. At least some of his agility was still there – if not in his limbs then in his mind, and his mind could sometimes still force his limbs to behave as they should. He hadn’t known how to do back-flips when he was six, but he could do them now – though not without effort. It was all still pretty galling in Sanji’s eyes.

They traipsed in silence for awhile, steadily getting closer to the campsite and further away from the carcass of the boar behind them. It hadn’t seemed quite right to kill the dumb thing when it was asleep, but they had a crew to feed and couldn’t afford being squeamish. Sanji had wanted to drag it all back to the campsite directly, of course, but even with the three of them pushing as hard as they could the dead boar wouldn’t budge. Maybe one of them should have stayed guarding it, but the other two kept making stupid objections to him staying behind alone. And he wasn’t going to leave either of them there. 

Sanji picked up his steps, feeling they should hurry back to the camp as soon as possible. He figured Chopper would be able to drag the boar back by himself easily, but if for some reason Chopper wasn’t there or couldn’t leave camp right now – Sanji’s currently pessimistic mind kept throwing up new possible obstacles – then he would probably need to bring his best cutting and carver knives along for some on-the-spot butchery. But who knew how many scavengers there might be in this forest? It would be annoying as shit if all their trouble had been for absolutely nothing.

“It does seem pretty weird how the whole thing works,” said Usopp suddenly. “What’s in your mind and what’s in your body, I mean. I bet it must be real interesting to Chopper especially.”

And that was another thing. Chopper, the one person who hadn’t visibly changed at all, had seemed downright gloomy this morning. He’d looked briefly happy at the growth of the Time Mushrooms, but when Sanji had next happened to glance at him the reindeer had been looking away, his face frowning and his shoulders tense. Something was bothering him, but Sanji had no idea what it might be. Maybe he ought to talk to him, later.

“AAAAAAAAH oh hi guys LOOK OOOOOOUT!!!”

Sanji’s musings were abruptly cut short at what sounded like Luffy’s child voice screaming at them at the same time that something big, fast, aggressive and extremely sudden burst out of the nearby shrubbery in front of them with a huge roar.

Sanji had just about time to grab Usopp and leap out of the way of the creature’s path, hoping Brook would be fast and light enough to do the same. _What the fuck are those idiots doing…?_ he wondered, not having time to look closer yet at whatever it was.

“AAAH!! A BEAR!” shouted Brook, clearing things up.

Sanji and Usopp dove behind a handy rock, then Sanji peeked up over it to watch the scene. A very angry bear it looked to be, possibly because of little Luffy who was presently sitting with his legs wrapped around the bear's head, hitting it over and over again. Zoro was trying to cling to its hairy back, but was losing his grip now, and was forced to jump speedily out of the way into a bush before a huge paw hit him. Zoro might be pretty for a strong six-year-old but an adult bear would still bash his brains out if he hit him, Sanji realised with a chilling – if annoyingly irrelevant – sense of déjà vu. 

Thankfully, Brook had managed to climb another tree, this time a sturdy oak. That meant he was probably the safest one, for now. Except he was looking very upset and kept gesturing frantically.

“Mr. Sanji!! Mr. Luffy!! My violin - !””

Oh shit. Sanji looked around but couldn’t see Brook’s precious instrument. He turned to glare at his captain instead.

“WHAT IN FUCKING SHITTY HELL DO YOU FUCKING THINK YOU’RE DOING, LUFFY?” he yelled, then winced at how high and thin his boy voice sounded. Still, the words needed to be said, even so. “Knock that goddamn shitty thing out instead of leading it to us! Follow directions from Mosshead, did you?”

“I’m **trying!** ” shouted Luffy, while Zoro yelled an outraged “Hey!” from the bush he was slowly emerging from – why didn’t the stupid idiot have the sense to stay _hidden?_ – right as the bear reached up to try to claw Luffy off of him, without success.

“I’d like to see you try and stop a rampaging bear right now, shit-cook!” Zoro went on, already waving a small branch around. “Not like your kicks could even tickle him!”

Sanji opened his mouth to retort but was abruptly pulled down behind the rock by Usopp.  
“Stop drawing its attention here, idiot!” hissed Usopp urgently. “Also, get out of my way! FLAME STAR!” he shouted, letting loose. “Aw, hell, missed again!”

“Hey, you might hit Luffy like that,” Sanji pointed out. Rubber was resistant to flames, but still…

“I aim for the body,” Usopp explained. “Mostly the legs. GUNPOWDER STAR!”

“GUM GUM BAZOOKA!” Luffy shouted at the same time, his two-armed move hitting the bear on the head at the same time Usopp’s attack hit it on one of his back legs. Amazingly, the bear only swayed, but stayed conscious and upright. Then it roared angrily, swinging blindly around trying to hit as many enemies as it could, before moving towards Zoro again. For some extremely stupid reason, that blockhead seemed determined not to run away this time, even taking a stance with the branch in his hand as if trying for a One-Sword Style move. The utter brainlessness of some of his crewmates never failed to astound Sanji.

“Stupid bear!” shouted Luffy, hammering the bear now and again, trying to stop it from reaching Suicidal Branch-Wielding Boy. “Fall down, dummy!” The bear slowed down but didn’t stop or divert his attention elsewhere. 

“LEAD STAR! Shit, missed again!” grumbled Usopp, though the pellet did hit the bear. But apparently not at the intended spot. “Hey, what’s wrong with you, Luffy?” he added. 

“Don’t you see? No training!” said Sanji, having figured this out by now. “Right, Luffy?” he shouted as he started to move away from the rock, waving wildly in the hope of attracting the bear’s attention too. “That insane grandpa of yours hadn’t started training you yet when you were six, had he?”

“I’ve been trying to tell him that,” said Zoro with a scowl, sounding rather whiny in his six-year-old voice but still not backing away from his stance.

“Only a little!” Luffy shouted back. “I guess you’re right! Even if I stretch…” As he talked, he extended his left arm back and up, then further up, then further again until its end disappeared among the treetops.

“You’ve got momentum, but no muscle!” Sanji cried out, then ran towards the lumbering bear as fast as he could manage, kicking it on the wounded leg before taking a quick leap back. “But if you stretch out really far– ” 

“Got it!” shouted Luffy, letting his left arm shoot further and further back while his right arm was pinching the bear’s ear. The bear seemed to sense something was up, for all of a sudden it got down on all fours and rammed its head straight into the oak where Brook was sitting.

“Oh my!” cried the startled skeleton, then craned his neck to look down. “Mr. Luffy, do you want my help down there? I could jump down on its back from here…”

“Nah, it’s fine! Just stay put, Brook!” shouted Luffy, having absorbed the impact painlessly – at least that trait hadn’t changed, thankfully. The bear was turning its head towards Zoro again – Sanji could only suppose the shitty thing had fixated on bright green hair like a bull on a red cape. 

Sanji essayed another run at the bear, another quick, if laughably weak kick, and another leap away. The bear’s jaws snapped at his heels this time around. From behind the rock, Usopp swore at him. 

He leapt up the nearest branch of yet another tree – a puny little aspen – and turned around right in time to see Luffy unfolding his legs from around the bear’s neck, leaping up from the bear the instant before his left arm came smashing down from a long way at incredible speed.

“GUM GUM PISTOL!” 

This time, the bear smashed into the ground, driven half a metre into the earth, and stayed there. Luffy jumped high, did a back-flip, then another, then half of one as his balance kept overextending itself, his moves intended for his 17-year-body instead of a much shorter one. Eventually he hit the ground behind a grove of trees, out of Sanji’s sight but with a resounding crash. 

“Guess that’s that, then,” said Zoro, and made as if to shove the branch he was holding into a sheath at his side, then frowned and put it to his shoulder instead, looking embarrassed. Brook had already jumped down to the ground and was ruffling through the bushes below the tree intently. He gave a small cry of sheer joy and held up his violin for his crewmates to see, quite mute with emotion for once.

Usopp cheered for Brook and Sanji smiled as well. Then Luffy came back and announced they should take the bear back to the campsite to eat. That made Sanji wake up and say, no, they shouldn’t, not until after they’d brought in the boar, because they’d been first and boars were tastier and more nutritious than bears. Why the hell should they go back looking for whatever tiny pig you’ve managed to tickle to death, Zoro wanted to know, when they had a perfectly good bear right here. Besides, they probably couldn’t remember where it was anyway, he added, and there was no way in hell Sanji would let him get away with that, so what with one thing and another they might have been there for quite a while except right then little Robin and Franky came upon them wondering what on earth they’d been doing over here, making all that noise. (Franky’s eyes went gratifyingly round and impressed when he saw the felled bear in its small crater.) 

Robin-honey, bless her brilliant and ever-helpful wonder of a mind, immediately suggested how best to divvy up the work, and then ran back to get Chopper and Nami to come help. Once they were all there Sanji knew for sure he’d be able to feed his crew properly tonight after all, and he let out a metaphorical breath he'd been holding for hours. 

Those stupid magic mushrooms who even the shitty old man hadn’t known about wouldn’t beat them. They’d get through this, Nami-baby and Franky would get their memories back, and they’d all get their years back. Every shitty, hard, unyielding, troublesome, happy, joyful, agonising, infuriating, fleeting and lingering second of them. 

Sanji felt his feet itching in anticipation as he led the march back through the dark forest toward the boar’s carcass, idly dreaming of cigarettes the whole way.


	4. Part IV

After the panic and excitement of fleeing and fighting vicious forest animals had passed, there had come first the arduous task of dragging them back to the campsite. Once that was done Sanji made everyone tea and they all chilled out for a while. Some of them had recounted the forest fights again to those who hadn’t been present, embellishing or analysing or squabbling about who’d done what and what they should have done instead, according to their various fancies. Luffy had been mournful at the lack of crackers or anything else served with the tea, but they were out of supplies so it couldn’t be helped. 

Then Sanji had gone to work on chopping up the bear and the boar, directing his male crewmembers to help prepare dinner (Robin volunteered herself and Nami to help as well). Usopp was named part of the water-carrying brigade, which meant going back and forth between the campsite and a nearby creek more times than he wanted to count. By himself, he couldn’t manage to carry more than half the bucket full of water, and even then he had to set it down several times on the short way. But when Robin could spare him some helping hands they could carry the whole full bucket together without needing to rest. 

Funny how that worked, really, reflected Usopp. When she didn’t use her devil fruit powers, Robin seemed just as weak as any other six-year-old kid. And even when she did use her powers, she was still a lot weaker than her normal adult self, since the limbs she sprouted were only as individually strong as her real six-year-old limbs were now. But multiplication made her way stronger than any of the others right now, except maybe Chopper. And possibly Luffy, but only if he were to do some really clever moves. Of course Robin’s powers worked in just the same way when she was in her normal adult body – but that was something Usopp had grown used to long ago. Somehow, seeing her as a little kid made the whole thing more, well... _obvious_.

“You know, in a way it’s almost fun, all this… or at least it’s pretty interesting, with everyone being the same age,” he found himself saying to her, hurrying to keep up while trying not to spill anything. “Since we’re all really still ourselves – except Nami and Franky for losing their memories – but it’s still different, like if everybody woke up with wings or horns on their heads or something.”

Robin smiled like she couldn’t help smiling, which was always nice to see. “That would be something to see, too,” she said. 

“Wouldn’t it? Or if everyone became turned into an animal, except Chopper of course – he’d turn into a full human, I guess… But anyway, I’m glad you guys still have your powers,” he added, as they reached the campsite again and slowly trudged the final few steps to the big kettle. It was pretty large, so it wasn’t that easy to raise the bucket high and pour the water down into it. 

Robin helped him out again, as he went on, “I mean, otherwise we’d probably all get eaten by bears and boars and stuff. There’s no way we could have tackled those things if we were all just like normal kids. Is it full yet?”

Robin shook her head. “Not quite. One last time.”

Sanji was still cutting up the big boar, eyeing it with an intense frown and not looking up at them. It felt weirder to see Sanji without a cigarette for so long than to see him as a little kid. Maybe he ought to chew on a toothpick or something, just to make him look more natural. Franky was standing beside the cook, occasionally helping him wrap up the chunks of meat in huge leaves. But mostly he just crossed his arms a lot and asked a lot of questions.

Robin and Usopp started to walk back to the creek, a spring in both their steps now that they were carrying empty buckets. In fact, if this hadn’t been Robin Usopp might even have said they were skipping. 

“I’m not sure you’re right about that,” said Robin now. “Even if we didn’t have any powers at all, I’m not sure we’d be helpless. We’ve still got a lot of knowledge in our heads after all… it ought to be possible to come up with strategies that could work against simple wild animals. There are enough of us to make it work, if we thought things through. And you’d still have your slingshot, wouldn’t you?”

“Yeah, that’s true…” said Usopp slowly. “Although I keep missing shots now, my arms and eyes don’t have their old training… Though come to think of it, Brook would still be able to do that lullaby trick that took down the boar. That’s got nothing to do with being undead, far as I can tell.”

“Music can be better than devil fruits at times,” said Robin, lowering her bucket into the cool, clear water. She flashed him a smile that Usopp thought looked just a bit wider than her smiles usually were. It occurred to him a little guiltily that it felt easier to talk to Robin when she was like this. Both because she was his age now and because she was little. Not that she was super-hard to talk to otherwise – just sometimes a little bit intimidating. 

“I guess you’re right,” he said, filling his own bucket as well. “Nine little kids against a bear or some other big animal here… it’s almost the same as when we were all fighting Oars, isn’t it? The difference in size at least was a lot bigger then, even.” Size was just part of it, of course, but despite their top fighters’ stupendous individual strengths they’d still had to work all together to bring the giant zombie of Thriller Bark down. 

They set off towards camp again, trudging slowly as they carried the water.

“You know, Robin,” he said after a little while, “not that I won't be relieved when we’re back to normal... it’s really good that you could find us those mushrooms and that they’re growing so fast, ‘cause it’s tough to be so small and vulnerable like this. But even so… I kinda think this is fun. I’m not sorry it happened. It feels like… like being on vacation, in some way.”

“It does. I agree,” she said, quietly and unexpectedly. He glanced at her: she was looking down at the uneven path thoughtfully. She smiled, again, this time a more private smile to herself. “It might not be so bad to feel that, now and then,” she murmured.

When they came back to the campsite, an argument between Sanji and Franky was in full swing.

“We can’t eat a whole boar for dinner!” said Franky. “It’s way too much!”

Sanji frowned. “Didn’t you see the way Luffy ate at breakfast and tea? He’s got a rubber stomach and the biggest appetite in the world.”

“The whole world?” said Franky. “No way! What about giants? Or seakings?”

“I’ve seen giants eat, and there’s no contest,” said Sanji. “Luffy eats more. So, yes, that boar is going to get eaten in no time. He'd eat the bear today too if only I’d had time to prepare it. But for now I’m holding off on the bear until tomorrow.”

“But that’s why you need to put it in the refrigerator! You said you had one on your ship! We should row over there and…”

Oh, so that was it. Franky just wanted a closer look at the Sunny. He’d been told the future him would build them all this marvellous ship, so of course it was pretty natural that he’d be curious and keen to check it out. Who wouldn’t be?

“Forget it!” snapped Sanji. “We’re too small to manage a rowboat together! Anyway, it’s unnecessary – we’ve got the meat wrapped up well now, and it will be fine for just one day, don’t worry. I know this shit.”

Franky looked sulky, and didn’t back down. “Then we can ask that freaky transforming reindeer to help us, or that girl Robin with all the hands. C’mon!” He pulled at Sanji’s shirt. “Don’t be meeean! I wanna see!”

“No!” Sanji pulled himself free from Franky. “Chopper’s done plenty today already! Just leave him alone for a while, he’s gotta be tired… and don’t you dare bother Robin-honey with this! Besides, who are you to talk about freaks? You’re going to be a cyborg when you grow up!”

“Says you!” Franky made a face. “Anyway, it sounds pretty cool to me! I like machines!”

“It’s still freaky!” insisted Sanji.

“Well, _you’re_ going to be a… a boring cook when you grow up! Just like now!”

Sanji scowled. “How would _you_ know?”

“’Cause you’re stupid! And mean!” Now Franky had grabbed a spatula and was waving it around angrily. Sanji’s face darkened as he saw this.

“You’re the stupid one!” yelled Sanji, leaning over to snatch back his tool from the amnesiac shipwright.

Robin sighed, took a deep breath and cleared her throat noisily. That didn’t work, so she closed her eyes and then cleared ten throats noisily. Usopp left her to it and backed away from there. 

*

He felt that he'd had quite enough of chores for the time being after all that water-carrying – his small six-year-old arms were still aching – and decided to duck out of sight before Sanji could think up something new for him to do. Usopp trusted Robin to say something smart to stop the fight between Franky and Sanji and slunk away, ostensibly to check up on the mushrooms.

He picked up his bag as he went – man, it was heavy when you were this small! – in the vague thought that maybe he could do some training himself in the privacy of the forest. Mostly he still thought it seemed rather pointless, as he’d said to Brook and Sanji before. When their bodies turned normal, they were going to get all their old muscles and training back anyway, wouldn’t they? 

Still… what if training now could make him just a little bit better, and there came along some new danger before they were cured, one in which that extra little bit made the difference? You never knew. It was something to do, in any case. Usopp always found it hard to just sit around and not do anything. He’d never gotten the hang of meditation.

But when he came to the place by the huge gnarled oak not far from the forest’s edge, where they’d put the Time Mushrooms in their earth-filled baskets, he found Chopper there. He was in Brain Point as usual, and was sitting surrounded by pots of herbs and medicine, grinding something medical in his mortar. But his movements seemed rather slow and erratic, and he kept stopping every now and then. Now that Usopp thought about it, hadn’t Chopper looked a bit down when they’d had tea, too?

Chopper jumped and gave Usopp a startled look when the sniper hollered a hello. Then he smiled uncertainly.

“Oh, oh hi, Usopp,” he said. “I didn’t hear you! I, um, I’m just here mixing medicine and keeping watch and stuff.” He waved towards the oak. They’d rigged up a sheet to cover the mushrooms, with the help of some twigs, in order to shield them from sunlight but without stopping them from growing.

“Oh, yeah.” Usopp tip-toed over there to see the progress. “I’m just here so Sanji can’t give me any more chores right now,” he explained over his shoulder on the way. “And I thought maybe I could do some training, too.” Although now that he turned out not to be alone here he felt slightly reluctant to practice target-shooting. It was embarrassing to show his current bad marksmanship in public, especially to the normally admiring Chopper. “Are they coming along all right?”

“Oh, yes! They’re just fine,” he heard Chopper assert behind him. “No animal seems to have gone near them. They probably know better than that, on this island.” 

Usopp lifted up the sheet and squatted down to watch the vile things – he’d always hated the taste of mushrooms and even if it turned out Sanji could disguise the taste really well he still disliked eating them, on sheer principle. But this time there'd be no help for it. He picked up the ruler that was lying in one of the baskets and measured the biggest one.

“There’s one over 20 centimetres now!” He whistled. “I guess that one will be going to Brook… Maybe it will be the right size tomorrow at breakfast already, if it keeps growing at this pace.”

“Yeah…” mumbled Chopper quietly behind him. Usopp frowned, then started measuring and counting the others.

“So there's 13 mushrooms all in all right now,” he said, half to himself. “And besides the biggest, there’s three others that are over 15 centimetres now, and some of the rest are not that far from it either. Hm… that means once there’s six mushrooms that’s more than 17 centimetres high, it’s either me or Luffy’s turn to take the next one reaching that height. I wonder how long that will take…? If we wait too long, they’re going to get _too_ big, then we’ll get too old and miss a year of our lives. That wouldn't be cool…” He supposed they’d have to go up here several times in the evening and check the growing rates. Maybe even during the night.

He counted the bigger mushrooms again, trying to guess and calculate which might end up as his. The order would be first Brook (age uncertain, but presumably the skeleton knew it), then Franky, then Robin, then the rest of them… A thought struck Usopp, belatedly. “Say, Chopper-”

“I don’t know,” Chopper said tensely. Startled, Usopp turned around. Chopper was sitting all tense and hunched over, one hoof gripping the pestle tightly, the other forming a tiny fist. 

“I don’t _know_ what mushroom I should eat, how big it should be!” Chopper burst out, trembling. “I don’t know how old I am! Doctorine, she told me that if I were human, she thinks I’d be about fifteen, more or less – but I’m not! And the mushrooms don’t care about that! And I don’t know what age I should really _be_!” He sniffled loudly, then sniffled again, wiping his eyes and mule on the back of his sleeve, looking angry at himself for crying.

Usopp blinked, then looked around nervously. Sanji or Robin would be better at handling this than him, he thought. But they weren’t in sight. Neither was Zoro, though in any case Usopp wasn’t sure if Chopper was in the right mood for one of Zoro’s “Be A Man”-speeches right now. And of course Nami was out of the question at the moment. 

He got up, carefully covered up the mushrooms again, and stepped closer to where his crewmate was sitting. Then he sat down and took a deep breath.

“I’m not sure I get it,” he said. “But I know you said yesterday that you were sure you’d turned younger as well, because you’re weaker than normal. Right?”

“That’s true enough,” mumbled Chopper, loosening his grip on the pestle and slowly, carefully putting mortar and pestle away. He wiped his eyes once more and swallowed audibly.

“Well… that means you’re over six years old at least, doesn’t it?” said Usopp cautiously. “Or, I mean, you should be normally, since right now you _are_ six…”

“I guess…if the mushroom I ate was the same size as everyone else’s.” Chopper looked forlorn. “See, I know how long time it’s been since I first… not since I first ate the Human Human fruit, but since I got my name. Since I started to, to _become_ someone. To talk to people. To be more than” – he swallowed again and sniffled loudly – “than just a monster. And that, that happened six years ago. So in a way you could say I _am_ six years old. Except not really.”

“...Oh.” Usopp bit his lip, not knowing what to say.

Chopper looked down at his hands, twiddling his thumbs. “And I don’t know how long I’d lived before that happened. Because… reindeers don’t think of time like that. Monsters who don’t know what humans are like, they don’t either.”

“Hey,” Usopp tried to object, “you’re not any more monster-like than most people in this crew…”

“I guess I can’t be very old,” said Chopper slowly. “I’m pretty sure I wasn’t a grown reindeer back when I ate the fruit… otherwise I’d be more grown-up, don’t you think? But I don’t know for sure.”

 _But if that’s how it is… doesn’t that mean you’re getting old much faster than the rest of us?_ thought Usopp. _I had no idea. I never thought to ask._

Of course, they were pirates and they should be prepared to die tomorrow if that’s how it was. It wasn’t like they planned their lives with an eye towards where they’d be at middle age and thereafter. But… Even so. It would be very strange to see Chopper aging faster than him, becoming older than him, and maybe… 

No. Better not to think about things like that. And maybe he was drawing the wrong conclusions. 

But he was willing to bet that, whether true or not, Chopper had been thinking about these things before. All on his own. Whereas Usopp had never even considered them. He blinked rapidly and swallowed tightly.

“I’ve been thinking…” mumbled Chopper, “that maybe I shouldn’t even eat one. Maybe I should stay like this and just train myself to be as strong and fast as I used to be. Zoro trains hard all the time, even when he’s really wounded, and you don’t hear him complaining. But I don’t know how long that would take, either, and what if the crew’s in trouble and all? And if I can’t help out like I should, just because…” He was starting to sound panicked and trembling.

“Hey. Wait a minute,” said Usopp. “I don’t really understand. Can’t you just eat a seven-centimetre mushroom first? Then you check to see if your strength is back to what it used to be. And if it isn’t, well then you just eat an eight-centimetre mushroom and check after that. And so on.” 

“But- but that would mean a waste of mushrooms…” 

“It wouldn’t be a waste,” said Usopp sharply. “And like I said, we’ve got thirteen Time Mushrooms here right now, and there’s nine of us, so we have some to spare already. And there’s probably going to be even more of them soon.” 

“Well,” mumbled Chopper, not sounding wholly convinced yet. But his face looked less tight, and his movements seemed slightly easier and more assured as he took up a small bowl and started to mix some small reddish sludge thing. “Well… maybe. If it’s all right with Robin and the others.”

“Of course it’s all right!” said Usopp. “Hey, you could probably eat one pretty soon! You don’t have to wait for the rest of us as soon as there’s eight mushrooms that are _more_ than seven centimetres long. Actually,” he said, as this just occurred to him, “you shouldn’t wait for the rest of us. That would be wasting a mushroom for sure!”

Chopper made a small surprised sound. “Hey, that’s right! I didn’t think of that. Wow, you’re so smart, Usopp!”

“But of course! Anyway, you can ask Robin too if you like, but I’m sure she’ll agree with me.”

“Yeah, I’ll do that.” The reindeer sounded a lot brighter now. _Good job, Captain Usopp._ Usopp gave himself a figurative pat on the shoulder, though that deeper matter of Chopper’s age was still giving him a twinge. Which was as it should be since he didn’t know what to do about it.

They were quiet for awhile as Chopper kept mixing up sludge-like medicine, sometimes looking in a little textbook he’d brought with him, but mostly managing without it. Usopp took up his slingshot and a bag of simple pellets and started to practice on a nearby birch with their handy black spots. The first was a clear miss. The second one, too, though slightly closer.

After a while Nami came up to them from the direction of the forest, not the campsite. She had her hands clasped behind her back and looked a bit sulky, as she stood there watching them for a moment without saying anything. Then she glanced over to the covered spot under the oak.

“I dunno if I wanna eat those things,” she announced haughtily. 

“Then don’t,” said Usopp, shrugging as he aimed a little higher on his target tree and tried again. A clear hit, this time. 

Nami glared at him. “They look yucky, and I don’t wanna be all crazy and weird like the rest of you people,” she continued. 

“Of course they’re yucky, they’re mushrooms.” He made a face at her, because that seemed to be how you got along with Nami these days. She made one right back. “But you don’t have to eat them if you don’t want to,” he continued. They could always put one into her food and have her eat it without her knowing it. Sanji would be good at that, the sneak. 

Nami was looking hard at him. “Are you thinking of hiding it in my food?” She stuck her tongue out at him. “Forget it!”

Damn it! Six-year-olds shouldn’t be that perspicacious, it wasn’t natural. He wondered for a second what it would have been like having her for a playmate, back when he’d been a little kid for real. Probably she’d ended up taking over all the games, he suspected.

“’Course not,” lied Usopp. Miss, again. “It’s up to you if you eat one or not. You’re gonna look pretty funny as a little kid with all us adults later, but I don’t care.”

Nami scowled at him suspiciously. “You’ve got a funny nose,” she said.

Usopp grinned at her and tapped said nose proudly. “It’s not just funny!” he said. “It’s a most extraordinary nose, a sign of rare talent and intelligence, and does it ever have its share of strange properties! Once I sneezed a whole seaking out of the way, when I had a cold! That’s how powerful it is!”

“Wow, really?!” exclaimed Chopper. 

“Of course!” Usopp nodded and let fly another shot. Bullseye. 

“Hmph!” Nami put her own nose into the air. “Pinwheels are cooler than noses. And anyway why don’t you want me to eat one of those mushrooms? Don’t you want me to be big? Huh? Is that it?”

“Are you trying to start a fight?” he said, shooting again. Damn. Wide miss, this time.

“Maybe I should say so to the others,” Nami mused. “Maybe I should go to them and tell them, ‘No, I’m not going to eat the magic mushrooms and become a grown-up navigator ‘cause that boy with the funny nose doesn’t like me and he doesn’t want me to.’”

Another shot, this one almost a hit. “Yeah, yeah, you do that,” said Usopp airily.

“Whaat?! Nooo! We do want you back, Nami!” cried Chopper, waving his arms frantically. “All of us! Don’t listen to Usopp, he’s just kidding around!”

“I just mean, we shouldn’t force her,” he tried to explain. “If we do she’ll just throw it up! Now, that’s a waste!”

Nami wasn’t looking at him, though. “Are you – are you sure you really mean that, Mr. Reindeer?” she said hesitantly, her voice going all wobbly.

“Hey,” said Usopp, alarmed, “I didn’t mean –”

“Of **course** I’m sure!” wailed Chopper, looking pretty stricken by now.

Nami sniffled. “Well, I guess – I guess I might eat just one, after all,” she said bravely. “If you really want me to. But only” – she sniffled again – “ _only_ if you pay me 20,000 berries to do it.”

Chopper and Usopp gawked at her.

“Al- Already!” squeaked Chopper incredulously. “Nami was like that already?! So early!!”

“No, no!” Usopp burst out. “It means she’s back! It’s the real Nami! Nami, you’re back! Aren’t you?” She looked back at him with wide child-like eyes, as if he was crazy, but then the corners of her mouth twitched, and she burst out laughing. Usopp hugged her and danced around with her a couple of steps. 

She grinned like a loon, sticking her tongue out. “ _Fooled_ you!”

“Nami!” Chopper hugged her too, his face shining with happiness as she hugged him back tightly. “You remember us now? Really? You remember all of it??”

“Uh-huh.” She nodded, and pointed towards the forest. “I got it all back about ten minutes ago, when I was alone.”

Usopp sniffled a bit and wiped his eyes. “I – I’m so glad!”

“What did it feel like?” said Chopper curiously. 

“Like getting hit in the head with a sledgehammer,” she said. “I had to sit down for a bit and get my bearings. But I did, and got over it.”

“Think Franky’s gotten himself back too?” asked Usopp, looking back over his shoulder towards the campsite.

Nami grinned again. “I don’t know, but I kinda hope he hasn’t, not quite yet,” she said. “I want to surprise the others too. So keep this a secret for a few minutes, will you? It’s more fun this way.”

“Devil woman,” said Usopp, but grinned widely too, unable to stop himself. It did sound fun, he had to admit. 

“Oh.” Chopper got slightly more subdued, but immediately brightened again, and laughed in sheer relief. “Oh, that’s all right! As long as you tell them soon! We’ve missed you so much, Nami!”

“I’m coming down to watch,” said Usopp.

“Nuh-uh, you’re not,” she said. “You’re just going to start giggling and give me away.”

“Am not!” he said indignantly.

“Are too!”

They kept squabbling on the way back to camp, and somehow wound up in a tickling match. Maybe Nami kinda liked being on vacation too.

She was scowling as she strode towards the middle of camp, trying to keep the pretence up for a few more minutes. Usopp hang back a bit. It would be interesting to see if she could fool Robin. 

He took up his slingshot and tried once again on another tree. Almost a bull’s eye. 

Everyone was the same size and most of them were the same meagre strength. No need to struggle to keep up for once. Instead you struggled just to get through the day without the height and reach and strength of an adult that you’d come to take for granted. They were all doing it together and that made it easier, but it was still exhausting. By and large, it would be good to get his real age back soon. Then he couldn’t worry about being stuck like this anymore. 

But it truly had been interesting. And even though he still hated the taste of mushrooms, he found himself wondering if there’d be some of those things left once they turned back... and if he'd be able to sneak a few into his bag. 

Just in case. You never knew. 

 

END


End file.
